dae ly thot z

"...in the past few months
i have met those aspect of this self
the scriptures, traditions, mystics, & sage have variously referred to as
"the thief", " the liar", " the monkey swinging thru the forest of the mind"
that modern psychology calls " the ego"
& the founder of christian science, mary baker eddy called "mortal mind"
as opposed to "divine mind"
"the mind of god"
"the higher self "
"the truest self"
or "the Self"...
the ancestors appear to have made coded references to
"the thief"
because it [ the ego ] is that aspect of the self/ conscious mind
that steals the peace of mind of any & every moment possible
by thinking of something other than the truth & joy of the moment
thru distractions like worry & fear...

"the liar"
because it [ the ego] uses illusion to convince the self
that ultimate reality isn't
in order to create & maintain the illusion of a person,
a soul being separate from divinity: ones true nature
it does this thru distractions like doubt...

" the monkey swinging thru the forest of the mind"
a paraphrase from the work of taoist master lao tzu
the monkey is the conscious mind unable/ unwilling to maintain a stillness
quiet
within which it becomes possible for anyone to ultimately realize the true nature of things
instead the monkey [the ego] leaps about the walls of the mind without pause
from thoughtform to thoughtform to thoughtform
rather than peace...

i have witnessed my self being
the false prophet
& the half-made sage
pretending to know more than i do which is ultimately not much if anything
for who is the one who knows
the universe it seems knows everything & as children of the divine we must be everything as well
so why would we need to "know" really
which all sounds pretty sage like 'til you're stuck on the side of the road trying to fix your car
or your girlfriend dumps you without a word...
so i've seen myself
watched myself, witnessed myself
& it occurred to me that
everyone might be experiencing this same thing yet thinking we're each unique
watched this ego at work & play
& realize even this awareness is a ploy by the ego to avoid death/oblivion
by embracing the spiritual path
bargaining with the infinite for some way to survive the inevitable end: finitude
becoming what david hawkins refers to as
"the spiritualized ego"
the immutable self remains un phased, un convinced, & out of reach of falsehood & illusion
yet ever present, ever loving , ever supporting
yet elusive
?

- 8.14.2005 brooklyn, new york